Oof

I am finally, finally, finally going back to Miami to get my stuff and say my final goodbyes to my friends and the city I spent a majority of my life in ;o; You know we've had our stuff sitting in a storage unit for like... a year? I know it's materialistic but I think about that stuff so often... my Neko Atsume poncho... my OC notebooks... my books... I want it all here with me now!! I'll also get to see my friends again which! I am very much looking forward to since I have been... very lonely. I don't have any friends here, so it's been kind of rough. It'll be nice to actually spend time with people I'm comfortable around. My best friend's birthday's the week after I go, so I'll be able to give them their birthday present in person <333

I'm also looking forward to getting my desktop back... listen, my chromebook is lovely! Super portable! Super dependable! It has been very nice to me and I super appreciate that!! But I can't fuckin draw on it. I can't game. I can't draw... I miss Sims. I miss Paint Tool Sai. I miss a whole lot of things I had before suddenly uprooting and going to Seattle. I'm just... super excited.

Speaking of Seattle... well... for a bit of background, basically my mom got an internship that brought us here, but we stayed with family across the water while she was doing that and afterwards while she was looking for a full-time job. I ended up getting a job at Barnes and Noble while I was there (which!!! Excite!!!!!!). Everyone was super nice and cool and I ended up in a D&D group with some coworkers so that was awesome! The worst of it really was that I could never remember my coworkers on the book side (I work Cafe) so I would be always asking their name and if they had a membership fghjk

Fast forward, mom got a job (whoo!) and we finally get a house in Seattle. I transferred to the Barnes and Noble here and that was cool and exciting (I no longer had to travel 2.5 hrs each way from my new house to work dfghjk). But!! Well, everything's different first of all which isn't super bad? But I don't,,, know anyone. I'm not clicking with my coworkers like I did at my old store (though I was definitely an awkward mess there too) and I just,,,, constantly, constantly, constantly feel out of place. I feel... super outside the circle, except I'm standing directly inside the circle and trying to be as unobtrusive as humanly possible. People aren't mean or rude! They're just not.... overtly friendly in a way that helps someone as stand offish and nervous as me. You've gotta get to like Level 10 frienship with my to unlock my personality, so all I've really got going for me is my work ethic? And that doesn't super seem to be working for the store managers (though the Cafe manager and lead are v nice and say they're very happy to have me!)

Idk I just feel like,,, peak awkward constantly all the time.

I miss. Hanging out with my friends. and sitting in companionable silence.